Anxiety

I was not going to blog today! But after a few events I felt I would be brutally honest and discuss a very serious thing in my life.

Anxiety! 

Anxiety is one of those things that if you have never suffered from it, or dealt with it on your own you may feel that a person is making it up to get out of things. This is sssooo  not true! I'm be no means an expert, but I would like to take a minute to describe what anxiety feels like to me in my different situations.

ME: (this is about ME, and how I deal) - it can be different for everyone.

Regular Anxiety - I'm short of breath, my heart is pounding, I'm sweating, and I am VERY irratable. Everything around me feels like it is going in fast forward and I can't keep up. Things are moving to fast, and no matter how hard I try I can't manage anything that  is going on. I get "worked up" normally followed by a break down (crying).  How do I deal? Pray! Pray! (While I am still praying) I work to find out what the trigger was. Sometimes it is easy to say "Oh it's because this happen." Other times it is much harder to discover and make take a couple days to figure out. It has become key to me to find out what the trigger is so I can better hand a similar situation later. Then I take deep breaths (still praying), and step back from the situation. (Not always easy when you are teaching and responsible for people - this could just be sitting at your desk for a few minutes pretending to be occupied with something.) Pray some more! (God is a great helper!) Then I am able to regroup and begin my time again! The key is to CALM down! Woman watch out! Sometimes anxiety attacks come out of know where right before our cycles (I never would have dreamed about this until I experienced it first hand - good warning sign you are suddenly insecure about something.)

Anticipatory Anxiety -  If you know me at all you understand this anxiety from me,  because I am very honest about it. It has taken a lot of work to get me past this one. Anticipatory Anxiety is when you get really anxious about doing something or going somewhere that you probably have never been to before. (A friends house for the first time, a party, to a meeting, starting a new job, hanging out with a new group of people.) Some of you may be thinking, Laura, we all get nervous. Here is an example of how bad this would get. I would not go through the drive thru of a bank because I had never done it before, and I was afraid I would do something wrong. Most of the time it is causes me to turn down and invitation to do something because I am to anxious to go, or be with new people. I used to never be able to go on a Retreat or anything like that because it was just so stressful I would be get sick from stress before I ever went. Most of the time I would just cover this with a "Sorry, I can't." and then end up sitting at home by myself on Saturday night (not that there is anything wrong with that.)
          With the great push of some friends and being able to identify that this was  happening to me I was able to start working through it. I'm happy to say I go through the drive thru at a bank all the time now. I can face the fear of a new situation in a different way now. One thing you will often notice with me in particular is I ask a lot of questions about something I am not comfortable (anxious) about. Such as Where is it? Who ALL is going to be there? What will be doing? My friends that know me well enough will answer all of these details and then give as many details as they can about a situation. My favorite answer "Laura, I will be there and you can stick with me." If I have a person I can "stick" with I am normally fine to attend even though I am very nervous about it.

My biggest reason for taking time to mention this is because I think often we feel like we are the ONLY ones that are dealing with this sort of  "disorder". WE ARE NOT!! Many people deal with anxiety, and there are so many types of anxiety out there. 

If you suffer from it, don't be afraid to talk about it. I honestly feel myself overcoming things and being able to do things in my life that I never thought I would be able to do. (I got up in front of the entire staff today and gave a presentation. YUCK) But I do it.  Don't be afraid to say "Hey we need to slow down, I feel an anxiety attack coming on." And then discuss how you feel with your loved ones, so they can understand what you are going through. I have always felt that education is key to any situation. If a person doesn't understand or know any better they CAN NOT help you. Remember to PRAY! GOD is amazing when it comes to helping people work through their anxiety. (I honestly feel sometimes he uses my anxiety to teach me things.)

If you don't suffer from anxiety, be patient and listen to your loved ones. Try to understand where they are coming from. Feel for them, you CAN NOT fix it, but you can let them talk about it without making them feel weak or wrong about this matter.

Finally here are some helpful tips in reducing anxiety and depression:

• Meditate or pray.
• Avoid alochol, because this may lead to sleep problems or even trigger panic attacks.
• Stop smoking. The nicotine can cause panic attacks in some people.
• Stop having caffiene. Caffiene sources include coffee and soft drinks.
• Exercise burns up stress causing chemicals such as adrenaline and cortisol, and this will help you to relax.
• Exercise also boosts serotonin, which is an feel-good endorphin, it’ll also help reduce sleep abnormalities, a factor in a stressed brain.  If your depression is linked to your appearance, then exercise will positively help boost self-esteem by reshaping the way you look at yourself.
• Create small, obtainable goals for yourself, then once you reach your goal, reward yourself.

Reducing Stress

• Learn and practice various relaxation techniques.
• Seek social support from friends.
• Manage your time more effectively; keep a daily planner.
• Exercise regularly.
• Get a proper amount of sleep.
• Eat regular, balanced meals.

The ones in blue are the ones I use and have found helpful. I hope you find this a little helpful also. I go my tips from the following website.

SocialAnxietyDisorder.net
http://www.socialanxietydisorder.net/coping/tips-for-reducing-anxiety-stress-and-depression-in-your-life.html

Have a wonderful day! Stay Calm! PRAY!

Why can't I keep my house clean?!

Last Saturday, I took an hour and half to clean my living room. What took that long to clean up I don't really know, but it looked amazing! I mean AMAZING! I just loved to sit in that room, a enjoy how clean and open it felt! That too was so nice. So I decided that I was going to get every other room picked up the same way. 

Now I have to be honest, because I am not fond of cleaning at all. But I don't understand why when I spend so much time cleaning something up, that I can't keep it that way! I want to have that nice tidy home, where if someone was to just drop in, I wouldn't be looking around thinking, "Wow! I'm a slob!" My house is not one that is DIRTY, but it is cluttery. There is clutter everywhere. I try so hard to get it all picked up and it is like it multiplies. 

Why can I not keep my house clean? I've been thinking about this for a couple of days and here are some reasons I have come up with.

1. I can't keep my house clean because my life is so busy, that I just don't have time to keep everything cleaned up. (This has to be why I have a huge pile of laundry - about three loads sitting on my kitchen table patiently waiting to be folded and put away.)
2. I can't keep my house clean, because the maid I hired just doesn't do her job, and it leaves me going behind her picking everything up. So I gave up!
3. I can't keep my house clean, because I am way more comfortable living with my surroundings a little less organized than everyone else.
4. I can't keep my house clean, because Miss Kitty (my 7 month old cat) messes up everything while I am at work, and repeats this process every day!
5. I can't keep my house clean because there is a mystical tornado that goes through every day and I just can't keep up with it so I gave up.
6. Finally, I can't keep my house clean, because I am just not a good housekeeper, and no matter how hard I try I will never have enough energy to keep a perfect house.

I know some of these reasons are out there, but I know that I am not the only person that struggles with keeping a clean house. I have "many" friends that have this same struggle and it is a joke between us. I have decided that SUPERWOMAN can keep a clean house. As for me I struggle to keep a picked up house.  So for today, I would like to know if you have this same struggle, and maybe we can add to my ridiculous list of why our houses can't stay picked up!

Remember, when you go to visit a person, you are not visiting their house. You are visiting the person, so who cares if they house doesn't look like a museum! At least when you visit my house, you know someone lives there!

Have a good day!

Storms

Tonight I sit on my couch with my almost warn out laptop, and all I can think about is how severe is this storm going to be tonight! They have been calling for a severe thunderstorm all week for tonight. Now for most people that means some minor disturbances while they are sleeping. For me it means I will be awake from the first clap of thunder to the last flash of lightning.

Everytime there is a storm or something I try to figure out why I get so worked up. Why am I so afraid of thunderstorms?! It as I am approaching almost 30 years of age, I fear that this fear will be with me for the rest of my life. But more than that, I fear that I will pass this ridiculous fear on to the children that I hope to have someday.

The craziest part about this fear is that I have found that I can over come the fear if I am standing in a classroom with 30 children, who need me. I have been through severe storms with them, and though I am shaking from head to toe, but I was strong. However, when I am on my own, it is really rough!

The whole point of tonight's ramble is that yes they scare me and yes I am trying to over come it. Sometimes when it storms I am making progress, other times I take two steps back.

What are you afraid of? Are you working to overcome your fear? What kind of progress have you made? I'm sure we all have a fear we are working on. I think the greatest part is making sure that we continue to face our fears and with God's kind and merciful hands we will overcome them!

Good night!

In The Beginning

Ha ha! In the  beginning there was this girl that wanted to write a blog. She really wanted to have a space where people could come together and talk about whatever was on their mind that day. She wanted to have a chance to talk about motherhood, cooking, and recipes.

This idea was very appealing to her younger sibbling, so her younger sister did exactly what younger sisters do. She copied her! Welcome to Laura's Own Thoughts. So I've already started of in contradiction, because blogging wasn't my idea. It was my sister's, but little sisters always steal ideas. Also, anyone who knows me knows that I love to write. So this space has been created so I can do just that.

In my space I hope to just  be able to write about whatever is on my mind or my heart at the moment I decide to sit down and write. I would love to hear from any of you, and feel free to comment, give advice, or even tell me how absolutely ridiculous I am. It's fine!

I honestly have no idea where this blog will lead, but only time will tell. If I get back to writing little excerpts here and there, maybe I will get back into writing some poetry again! It's been ages!

This is my first set of ramblings. Hope you enjoy, and till next time!

PS. Don't forget to remind someone they are special today!!